Lost in Translation
Every realtor who has been out with clients shopping for Queen Creek real estate knows the disappointing experience of walking into a house and recalling the description in the mls, wondering if you're in the right house. Whoever wrote that thing and lured you and your clients to the doorstep must have an amazing imagination.
After seeing over 1000 homes over the years, I offer to Queen Creek home buyers this brief, only partly tongue-in-cheek translation.
Charming, adorable: Small
Cozy: Really small
Exclamation mark in listing (single): This house isn't getting much interest.
Exclamation marks in listing (two): This listing is in trouble; it won't sell.
Exclamation marks in listing (three or more): Will somebody, ANYBODY buy this house?
Location, location, location: The only thing going for it is the name of the town, and these are the cheap seats.
Bring your updating ideas: Bring your contractor.
Ready for your personal touches: Get ready to rip up carpet, tear down wallpaper, and hire a personal shopper at Home Depot.
Investment opportunity: Knock it down and build a new house.
Room for expansion: Has a yard. (If you had a spare $100,000 laying around after the down payment, maybe you could build something.)
Don't miss out/hurry: We are getting truly desperate to sell this place.
YES! You can afford to live in Scottsdale!: See "location, location, location."
No HOA: The neighbors have 2 cars up on blocks in the driveway and Uncle Larry lives in the pop up trailer in the front yard.
Honey, stop the car!!: The only people who would even consider living in this house are currently living IN their car.
Mrs. Clean lives here: This place is very ugly, but hey, it is clean.